2024.06.DisappearingMoment
I always wanted my hair to be different. A lot of us felt that way. Many still do.
I wanted to look like Kelly from the Bad News Bears. Like Ace Frehley, the lead guitarist in Kiss. Long and not quite straight.
Or like John Travolta’s dance teacher, Deney Terrio. Like Shaun Cassidy. Musical, dreamy, avian.
With hormones came discord. I wanted my hair to be messy. The right kind. Like Andrew McCarthy or Kurt Cobain. I wanted it to look independent, like it took care of itself.
What I wanted was not to look Jewish. Not that I understood.
I gave up and things improved. No more shampoo. Shower, towel dry, conditioner, air dry. No combs, brushes, dryers, hands. No futzing with it.
I had it cut every few months as it got puffy. When the sides grew in, I beat them back. It could do whatever it wanted, as long as it conformed. Assimilated.
A year ago, my sister-in-law, Anita, recommended Diana DiMedio. Diana trained at Vidal Sassoon in LA in the seventies. Sassoon did not give customers what they thought they wanted. Not the styles they saw in magazines or movies. Your hair should frame your face. Complement your attributes.
Each haircut was different. Every haircut was short.
Undergraduates from UCLA would sign up for free cuts with Sassoon trainees. The college students had long, California hair and wanted their ends trimmed. Diana told them they were going to leave with a short haircut. Or, she whispered, they could take ill and excuse themselves.
“Diana,” the instructors would ask. “Why are your clients always getting sick?”
Diana didn’t last long with Sassoon. She went independent. Told her clients they would look their best if they let their hair grow the way it wanted. If it told their story. If they let themselves listen. Let others see.
Over time, she got into curly and kinky hair. It was more interesting for her. More meaningful for her clients.
She studies each wave, kink, and curl. Lets it express itself.
My hair does not look how I want it to look. It is the way I want it to be.
Welcome to June 2024’s Disappearing Moment, an inventory of my experiences. I hope you enjoy it.
Podcasts
- Dead End (I Loved It): Politics and violence in places I know. Involving people who know people that I know. The stakes are timely and feel tangible.
- The Immortals (Intrigue) ( I Liked It): Would you marry your favorite Barbie star if you had to watch Oppenheimer with them once each day for the rest of your life?
Nerdy Software
Literature Clock is my everything.
Free Font
Take me, Matthew Butterick. Beguile me with Matthew Carter’s Charter. (N.B., the best designer I know wrote, “Matthew Carter can do no wrong.”)
Bougie Products
Use ear protection. Anything is better than nothing. For not much money, you can buy something tested, comfortable, and durable.
Personal Finance and Investing
If money markets are confusing, keep the cash you don’t need for bills in a high-yield savings account. Remember: Cash is for short-term needs.
Reading
- Brett Bonfield, “Sifan Hassan Is Fine the Way She Is.” I published it on June 19, half way between my birthdays. It was more fun to write than anything else I have written.
- James Fallows, “Why Americans Hate the Media” (A Personal Favorite): There was no golden age of media. It was always deplorable and, on average, it is getting worse. The exceptions are more valuable than ever.
- Tommy Gonzalez, “You’ve Read Your Last Free Article, Such Is the Nature of Mortality” (I Loved it). Paywalls are like Live Nation, fraternities, SEO, content (sic) creators (sic). An unambiguous signal not to waste my time.
- Vu Le, “An apology to everyone I’ve offended for speaking up against g3nocide” (I Loved It). Yep.
- Jamie Loftus, Raw Dog (2023) (I Loved It): Great writers are unafraid to repeat themselves to make a point. Loftus is brilliant, funny,, and unafraid to repeat herself. To. Make. A. Point.
Television Shows and Movies That I Have Not Watched
I’ve seen snippets, at most, of the following. As in, no more than a minute or two of any episode or the feature film. (Inspired by This American Life’s “Lists!” Thanks, Emily, for sharing it.)
- Alien (any)
- Breaking Bad (Honorable Mention: The Big Bang Theory)
- Curb Your Enthusiasm
- Downton Abbey
- The Exorcist
- Friends
- Game of Thrones
- Harry Potter (any)
- Independence Day or I, Claudius
- Jaws (any)
- The King of Queens
- Lord of the Rings (any) (Honorable Mention: Law & Order (original or spin-offs)
- Mr. Show
- NCIS (original or spin-offs)
- Oz or Orange Is The New Black
- Pixar films (any)
- The Queen’s Gambit
- Rick and Morty
- Star Wars (prequel or sequel trilogies)
- Titanic
- Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
- Veep
- The Wire
- X-Files
- The Young and the Restless
- Zoolander
Thank you for spending a few moments with me. I appreciate you and look forward to corresponding again next month.
Brett
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No large language models were used in the production of the Disappearing Moment newsletter or website (inspired by RFC 9518 Appendix A ¶ 4 and Tantek Çelik).