Imagine that you and I were the subject of an experiment. We let researchers place us in comas on November 1, 2017. They awakened us eight years later.

We’ve spent the past month observing and being observed. Learning what we missed. Seeing family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues.

What would have surprised you the most? What would have required the biggest adjustment?

Politics and sports are about what I expected. While I wouldn’t have anticipated the rise of pronouns or polyamory, I’d adjust to them quickly. Same with AI, which takes as much adjustment time as special effects in a movie. Cryptocurrency, NFTs, meme stocks, and other financial news: Meh.

What I’d need more time with is our openness about mental health and the ways we medicate ourselves. Which is a long way of saying, I’m still getting used to it. Even without having been in a coma.

I’m not objecting or judging. It’s a net positive that everyone I know has disclosed, often as I sit in an audience, that they’re autistic or have ADHD. Or depression, anxiety, trauma, OCD, hyper- or hypothyroidism, disordered eating or eating disorders. It’s good not to feel ashamed.

I’m also still getting used to the ways we medicate. The number of people I know who have at least one drink almost every day. Or consume cannabis almost every day (or many times per day). Who rely on nicotine or caffeine. Who microdose psychedelics (or dose on a regular basis). SSRIs or other antidepressants. Adderall or Ritalin or other stimulants. Vitamins or supplements for mood, focus, equanimity.

I don’t know how causes or prevalence compare to other times in history. Is this knowable? Does it matter?

What feels different are the norms and rituals, the expectations and transactions. I hope it’s helping.

Welcome to November 2025’s Disappearing Moment, an inventory of my experiences. I hope it's helping, too.

Podcasts

• “Bored and Brilliant” series (Note to Self) (I Liked It): Media and technology are drugs, drugs, drugs.
• Underfoot (I Loved It): It was Catipalism all along.

Nerdy Software

I’ve replaced Pinboard.in with Linkding. I use Cloudbreak for hosting. I’m lost without a bookmark manager.

Free Font

FiraGo is independent, free, beautiful, international, and popular.

Bougie Products

When we eat at home, we use cloth napkins at every meal. Beth and I are worth it, and so are our guests.

Personal Finance and Investing

Raspberry's Risk-Based Guardrails Calculator is an Excel file. It helps you plan your retirement (i.e., what you can spend).

Reading

• John Buck, “Mr. Tiff” (I Liked It): Stay for the payoff.
• David Bushell, “XSLT.RIP” (A Personal Favorite): Your monthly reminder that Goooooooooogle suuuuuuuuuucks.
• Keira D’Amato, Don’t Call It a Comeback (2025) (I Liked It): It seems that my favorite genre is Memoirs by Runners. Come for the motivation, stay for the dad jokes.
• Kieran Healy, “Trustworthy Data Visualization” (I Loved It): “(I)n a world where researchers are faking results, AIs are enthusiastically confabulating, and government is destroying data infrastructure....”
• Filipa Mendonça-Vieira, “In Praise of dhh” (I Liked It): “Spending all day talking to smart, brilliant people, who are afraid of ever contradicting you is a recipe for melting your brain.”
• Mike Monteiro, “How to avoid listening to Radiohead” (I Loved It): “...not only is that okay, it’s necessary in a relationship. Part of being together is having things that you enjoy doing by yourself.”

Survey

To see the survey and respond to it, you have to subscribe via email and answer it through an email interface.

Last month’s question: “How many poems do you read each year?” There were four responses. Two of you read more than 50. One person reads 26–50. One person reads 1–5. I read 11–25: the poems in Laura Olin’s newsletter, plus a few others.

Literary Journal

The Adroit Journal has come a long way in less than 15 years. If you treat your writers and readers well, good things happen.

Not Unless I’m Asked

• Accent, observations about theirs or mine
• Appearance, critiques about theirs or mine
• Athletic accomplishments (mine) (such as they are)
• Children (including nieces and nephews), accomplishments or complaints
• Dreams (that I had while sleeping)
• Investments
• Pets, stories about mine
• Politics
• Sports, real or fantasy
• Where I live or have lived, quirks thereof

Thank you for spending a few moments with me. I appreciate you and look forward to corresponding again next month.

Brett

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